Day 322: And I Wonder Why I Am Tired?

I logged 34 miles of running in five days this past week. I am mentally & physically exhausted. I can not absorb one more person, thought, project, chore, ask... between juggling work on several campaigns for women I am very committed to, training for a marathon in 15 days, shuttling boys to far away baseball games, planning meals, consoling grieving friends, counseling others, tending to elderly parents, I'm done. Toast as they. I really need to rest.

That's not gonna happen though because tomorrow I'm off to Lakewood to walk precincts, then family Sunday dinner at Dad's and then on Monday the running starts all over again... oh please give me the strength for my body and mind to persevere as I am being very tested.

Day 247: Still Overwhelmed

Running, going, doing, smiling, bitching, driving, shopping, cooking, food shopping ... that's all I can muster to say today!

Day 48: The To Do List

I was with two of my sisters today -- the big sis Michele & the kid sister Jennifer who is in town from New York -- and we all started laughing at how we share a quirky habit: With so many "to do" items we sometimes write the items down -- which we have already completed -- only to be able to cross them off on the forever "to do" list! It makes us feel like we've accomplished so much when we can visually see a list with lots of lines through the endless errands!

Sounds quirky, doesn't it!?! But really it makes sense. We all (or should) keep lists upon lists --a market list, a reminder list, a to do list, a honey do list, and when we check the items off after completion, we really feel a sense of accomplishment!

What is it with us women and all our have to get done items in one day... I've rarely met a woman who doesn't always have something to get done that day --- rarely does a friend say I'm just going to lounge today! There's a household to run, a business to manage and family & friends to host, it's endless and without a "to do" list I'm not sure how one would keep track of all that needs to be finished.

Yesterday I posted a message about how overwhelmed I am these days. Whether it's the end-of-school year pressure to finish, or the ramping up for new business adventures, or what I don't know, but it's all too much these days! The endless to do list. Why does it never feel completed? Why is there always so many people & matters to tend to... if I had the answer I'd be a very wealthy woman I'm sure!

Even with countless attempts to be organized, to say no to every request, I still find myself upside down on my to do versus down time. A perfect balance would be to have equal amounts of relax time versus running time. This should be a goal, but then it would have to be added to the to do list and would just create one more thing for me to address!

Day 47: Too Much

It's all too much these days! I am running like a crazy person, and I'm not talking about my actual running which is also on the never ending list of things to do on a daily basis. Now I know you all say, but when we see you, you seem so together ... well because that's another daily affirmation of mine; stay clam, be in the present! Something else for me to do! The truth is ... I have more family, friends and outside obligations then any one person should be blessed or burdened with! Warning this is a whiny & self absorbed post!

Today's post is short & sweet because I am on overload. What I really want to be doing at this moment is sitting in the sun and not thinking. Not thinking of posting a message daily for my blog, not planning dinner tonight, and the next and the next, it never ends because the family's got to eat, not thinking of all I have already done today, but how much still needs to be accomplished.

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache which is very unusual for me. I rarely get headaches, they are not my thing. But the pressure to please everyone, to return every phone call, to see every family member, to return every text & email, to host the next political event, to increase my running miles, to eat healthy and take my vitamins, to buy the boys needed underwear, and myself new bras, to grocery shop, to feed the dog when no one else is around, to color my hair, host holidays, to fill out school forms, to take care of my health, to take the boys to the dentist, doctor, orthodontist (remember only one boy drives), to attend all the baseball games, to update my website, to listen to and talk with all the people in my life, attend parties, buy presents, do the laundry, clean the house, wash the dishes, campaign for candidates, build my freelance consulting business, make money, pay the bills, worry about debt and breathe! It's almost an impossible task to keep this all going, except that I do it all which is why I'm in this mood in the first place!

I want to do all these things because they make me happy and I do want to maintain all these relationships because they bring me joy, but everyone is entitled to get overwhelmed. When I wake up in the morning I already feel behind schedule and this is how's it has been most of my adult life. Someday the pressure to please just gets to me. I'm thinking a little R & R with just myself is needed.

The Robyn positive spin on this bitch session is that I am privileged to have so many people in my life that I love and that love me. I am blessed that I am healthy to participate in all the activities that I do, and I am lucky to have such a fulfilled life even when some days seem too much!

Gotta go now to get dressed & made up to attend a birthday party... see it never ends!