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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Day 278: So Young, So Much Pain

Many of us are trying to grasp the unexplainable act of a teenage boy who jumped to his death this past Friday. A freshman at Santa Monica High School, a diligent student, a member of his high school baseball team, a boy with so much to live for and so many more years to travel.

I've been told his parents are inconsolable. I would only expect that. I mean my goodness, how could you continue to live knowing that your son was in so much pain that he chose to take his own life?

Did he call out for help? Did he tell his friends of his pain? His parents? Anyone? What goes through the mind of such a young person to push them to the point that they will jump from the 10th floor of a Hotel in front of his teammates? What rage? How aggressive. How terribly sad.

Not too long ago I wrote about a woman in our community who lost her son to a tragic accident. He was running with his track team when a car hit and killed him. I attended a memorial for this young boy and the pain was unbearable. A loss.

What I write about today has even more layers of pain. This boy chose to end his own life. The unbearable pain his parents, friends, classmates, coaches, community, Rabbi must all feel... did they do enough to recognize any signs he may have displayed? Did they pick up on any signals? How they are probably suffering second guessing all their actions.

This story just makes me sick to my core. As a mom of three teenage boys who have, and are still, travelling through adolescents -- no doubt a challenging time in one's young life -- I just can't bare this one.

What a loss. I'm so sad for his family. I really have no words to make this one better. Hug your children tightly tonight.