Day 278: So Young, So Much Pain

Many of us are trying to grasp the unexplainable act of a teenage boy who jumped to his death this past Friday. A freshman at Santa Monica High School, a diligent student, a member of his high school baseball team, a boy with so much to live for and so many more years to travel.

I've been told his parents are inconsolable. I would only expect that. I mean my goodness, how could you continue to live knowing that your son was in so much pain that he chose to take his own life?

Did he call out for help? Did he tell his friends of his pain? His parents? Anyone? What goes through the mind of such a young person to push them to the point that they will jump from the 10th floor of a Hotel in front of his teammates? What rage? How aggressive. How terribly sad.

Not too long ago I wrote about a woman in our community who lost her son to a tragic accident. He was running with his track team when a car hit and killed him. I attended a memorial for this young boy and the pain was unbearable. A loss.

What I write about today has even more layers of pain. This boy chose to end his own life. The unbearable pain his parents, friends, classmates, coaches, community, Rabbi must all feel... did they do enough to recognize any signs he may have displayed? Did they pick up on any signals? How they are probably suffering second guessing all their actions.

This story just makes me sick to my core. As a mom of three teenage boys who have, and are still, travelling through adolescents -- no doubt a challenging time in one's young life -- I just can't bare this one.

What a loss. I'm so sad for his family. I really have no words to make this one better. Hug your children tightly tonight.

Day 167: A Young Man's Suicide

What a tragedy. What a loss. And what immeasurable pain Tyler Clementi's parents must be experiencing.

Tyler is the young man, just 18 years old, a Freshman at Rutgers University who took his own life this past week. He ended his very promising life by jumping off a bridge into the Hudson River after learning that his college roommate (allegedly) secretly videotaped a sexual encounter between Tyler and another male.

What kind of person videotapes their roommate? And what kind of person then (allegedly) uploads the video to stream on the Internet as if it were a game or a sport. Well it was neither. It was a person. A student. An accomplished violinist. A son. A friend. A young person with a promising musical future.

I have three son's, one is a Sophomore in college. I know countless teenage boys and I can't imagine one of them EVER being so cruel or hateful. If I were the parents of the two alleged students, one Tyler's roommate the other a friend of his, I would be so ashamed that my child contributed to a student taking their own life. What kind of kids are these? What were they thinking? That it was funny? A college prank? What could posses a person to be so heartless? Personally I hope the New Jersey District Attorney throws the damn books at both of them.

My heart aches for Tyler's parents. Their beautiful son gone because others thought his life should be played out on the Internet.

Teach your children compassion, understanding, tolerance and grill it into them that while others may make different choices, all are to be accepted.

Rest in peace Tyler Clementi.