Day 289: Can't Teach the Teenagers to Drive

I just can't do it. Had a panic attack this afternoon and had to have one of the boys pull over as he was practicing driving with me. Poor kid, it wasn't his fault he was driving great!

For those of you who have had me as a passenger in their car, you know my phobia of others driving. I need to drive to have control. I am a horrible passenger and I will own that. So can you imagine me teaching two 15 year old boys how to drive!? I feel so bad that I can't do this, but I really can't ... too much fear of death or maiming!

I am a great Mom and have taught more things then I can remember to all three of my sons, but I am a failure at this one. I just don't have the nerves to be an effective and calm driving teacher. I truly fear for my life or of being maimed. I feel really sad that I can't let them drive me all over, but to preserve my sanity and our healthy relationship I believe it's best that they only drive with their Dad!

Ah, parenting!

Day 189: Band of Boys

The college boy was in town for a few days -- semester break. Loved having him home, even for a brief stint. It felt like a fraternity house this weekend around the Simon house. We had a house full of boys which means lots of food & fun. Absolutely my favorite way to spend time ... cooking and hanging with my boys. I love them all...

Having Brandon home and Harrison & Spencer around with all their friends was the perfect medicine for my aching heart. This week was plagued by the loss of too many young sons. I have posted about their tragic deaths. I still can't wrap my arms around how a Mother ever gets over losing a child. I guess that's why I was feeling like we should really embrace the kids these past few days. Keep them close & snug to us. So we did.

Checkout this picture of us all at dinner...

lots of laughter & smiles! Given the sad news this week I was so happy to be surrounded by my family and to relish in their company ... it's what life is all about!

Day 9 & 10: 30 Years Later on the Pitcher's Mound

Some moments can't be visualized until they really happen. That was the case yesterday. As many of you know Brian and I attended the same High School here in Los Angeles - University High School. Many of you also know that Brian was a baseball player and all 3 of our sons have followed him and his love for the game. I remember sitting in the bleachers 30 years ago watching my afro haired boyfriend heave the ball from the pitcher's mound... yesterday 3 decades later I sat in the same bleachers and watched Harrison & Spencer, my twin 14 year old sons stand on the same field hitting & heaving the ball. Wow! Talk about a whirlwind of memories and emotion.

Starting with where the hell did 30 years go? How am I still with the same man from High School? How did all three sons become pitchers & ballers? A lot to process for me... or anyone for that matter. I think because it's a perspective which leads to reflection. Here I am in the same town I grew up in, raising my family in the same neighborhood and my boys are visiting my almamater playing on the same field that I watched my boyfriend play on 3 decades ago. If that doesn't give you pause, not sure what will!

That's the thing about being a parent. You watch your children through your own life and when you have an opportunity to actually see them do what you did as a child, it is magnified. If I had known three decades ago that I'd be returning to my almamater to watch the boys play ball, accompanied by my high school prom date, would I have done things differently? Taken a different course in life? Wished for a different outcome?

Not for at least another 30 years!